K-Pop

HyunA Opens Up About Her Mental And Physical Health

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In a lengthy letter on Instagram, the lively singer opened up about the state of her mental and physical health.

If there is one thing that HyunA is known for, it is being honest. The singer has always been open about her relationships, or the way she feels about her music and the industry in general. This time, her honesty shone through once more as she opened up about the state of her mental and physical health.

hyuna

On November 28, HyunA posted a photo of a blue sky, accompanied by a lengthy message for her fans. “I don’t know if this is the right choice or not, but I’ve given this a lot of thought,” her post begins. She shares how she has always dreamed of being on stage, and although she receives love, she still felt sorry for herself.

“I’ve always dreamed of being on stage since I was very young, and when I achieved that dream I received a love I couldn’t even imagine,” her post reads. “I was honestly grateful and excited for every opportunity I had, but I also felt sorry. As I became an adult, I thought I’d have to take responsibility for everything I did.”

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안녕 안녕하세요 우리 팬들 아잉 또는 저를 좋아해 주시고 관심 가져주시는 많은 분들 이게 맞는 선택일지 아닐지는 저도 모르겠지만 많이 생각하고 또 생각해 선택한 것이기에 진짜 제 이야기를 해 볼까 해요 사실 저는 아주 어릴 적부터 무대 위에 서려는 꿈을 갖고 있었어요 그러다 보니 꿈을 이루었고 또 생각하지도 못했던 사랑들을 관심들을 마음을 정말 많이도 받고 성장과정을 가져온 것 같아요 어린 시절부터 저에게는 유독 많은 기회들이 있다고 생각해서인지 늘 감사했고 솔직히 신났어요 그럴 때면 미안함이 들기도 했고요 그렇게 시간이 지나 제가 데뷔 이후 성인이 되었고 제가 하는 모든 일은 책임을 져야 한다 실수해서는 안 돼 누구에게나 선택받는 사람이고 싶은 욕심이 생겨 앞만 보고 달려갔어요 제가 아픈지도 모르고 있었죠 그래도 주변에 늘 함께해주시는 좋은 분들 그리고 팬들이 항상 함께였으니까 괜찮은 줄로만 알았어요 미루고 아니라며 괜찮다고 넘겨오다가 처음 2016년 병원을 가보고 나서야 알게 되었어요 저도 마음이 아픈 상태였단 걸 몸이 아프면 약을 먹는 게 자연스러운 것처럼 감기에 감기약을 먹어야 하는 것처럼 늘 단단해왔던 저였기에 우울증과 공황장애라는 진단이 믿기지 않았죠 일 년은 믿지 못 했던 것 같아요 지금은 자연스럽게 이주에 한번 꾸준히 치료받고 있고 나쁘게 생각하지만은 않으려 해요 많은 분들이 함께해주기 때문에 그러다 처음 앞이 뿌옇게 보이더니 푹하고 쓰러졌어요 여러 번 이것도 공황장애 증세 중 하나려나 하고 넘어가려다 의사선생님 말씀에 대학병원에서 뇌파 등 이것저것 검사를 해보고 알게 된 사실은 미주신경성 실신이라는 병이 있더라고요 뾰족한 수가 없는 멍했어요 무대에 서고 싶은데 내가 이렇게 자주 푹하고 쓰러진다면 내가 아프단 걸 알면 누가 날 찾아주려나 제일 먼저 걱정이 앞서서 누구에게도 알리고 싶지 않았어요 근데 비밀이란 게 오랫동안 지켜지면 좋으려만 푹푹 쓰러질 때마다 혼자 속 졸이며 미안하고 또 미안한 마음이 들더라고요 광고나 스케줄 소화 할 때면 행사할 때면 절 믿고 맡겨 주시는 많은 분들께 죄송했어요 그래서 제 마음이 조금이나마 가볍고 싶어 이렇게 솔직하게 얘기하게 되었고 조심스러웠지만 숨기지 않고 용기 내서 얘기해보았어요 앞으로도 씩씩하게 잘 지내려고 노력할 테지만 사람은 완벽할 수만은 없나 봐요 늦지 않았다고 생각하고 제 자신을 사랑하고 보살펴주려고요 지금처럼 용기 내어 솔직할 거고요 읽어주셔서 고맙고 감사합니다

A post shared by Hyun Ah (@hyunah_aa) on

Still, she shared how she kept being ambitious and going after what she wanted. Her ambition, according to her post, would later lead her to ignore her mental health. “I didn’t even know I was sick. I had good people stay with me, and I had my fans, so I thought I was okay.”

HyunA opened up about her initial disbelief when she was first diagnosed with depression and panic disorder. “I was always a tough person, so I didn’t believe I had depression and a panic disorder. I didn’t believe it for a year, I think.”

Despite this, she shared how she eventually came to terms with her diagnosis: “Naturally, when you’re physically sick you take medicine, or when you have a cold you take cold medicine.” Currently, HyunA is getting treatment once every two weeks, and she shared that she has a dependable support system.

Aside from opening up about her mental health, HyunA also opened up about her physical health. The singer shared that she had an EEG done, and was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope, which occurs when the body overreacts to certain triggers or extreme emotional distress.

All of these combined, HyunA shared, was what led her to open up about her condition. “I didn’t want to let anyone know that I worried about these, but I want to relieve these feelings a bit,” her post concluded. “People can’t be perfect, but I’ll continue to be courageous and honest like I am now.”

READ: K-Pop Comeback Spotlight: HyunA Blooms With “Flower Shower”

Source: Hyuna’s Instagram

Image Source: P-Nation Entertainment

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